Why do we often take a decision at times, after a lot of introspection and evaluation, yet after a few incidents that happen and change our scenario, we end up regretting them? Why is that decision irreversible, unlike others? It bothers me. Almost a month ago, I was quite clear on what I wanted and had pictured my entire routine post that one thing which had surrounded me and had been a part of my life since the past 11 months. But then, that one announcement, those few words out loud, those conversations, they changed everything. They gave me reasons to hold onto it. It was for the first time that I was told I was wanted, yet now I stand at the junction where my path diverges, and I don't know which to chose, unlike Mr. Frost who chose the one less traveled. I wish I could decide. Both seem equally important to me. I feel that I would kill hopes if I leave this place which has made me who I am, which has been my crutch all along, but on the other hand, not letting go of it and sailing in two boats would be no good either. I won't be doing justice, neither to the duties I have taken nor to myself as an individual. If I call out for aid, all I get is to let the moment pass and flow along. But I want to cease and redirect the flow along the direction I wish to follow. If at all I could create my own path, through the rougher terrain, untraveled and undiscovered, I might just end up finding myself at the end of the road. Yet, I sit here, with this plastic and metal under my hands, glaring at a glass sheet, dabbing the plastic squares, putting across my thoughts. I do not know why, and the day I seek all the answers, that day, I'll have an answer to this never ending cognitive tussle.
